Category: Motherhood

Featured /

Child Rearing Resources

Lately, I’ve had a few conversations and inquiries about the joy-filled challenge (and I’m not being facetious) of raising children. In this post-modern parenting world, the influx of input from various sources is overwhelming… and, from my limited experience, mostly unnecessary. Admittedly, I am still a young parent (my oldest is almost 8), but the early years, from infancy through toddlerhood to early childhood, provide a steep learning curve of educational experiences. That being said, one of my most reliable and consistent resources is my own mother (and her mother), and their wealth of wisdom is still completely relevant and effective, regardless of generational differences. As Scripture confirms, “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecc. 1:9), not even children (especially children).

So, the world around us may change–technologies growing, shifting and claiming more of our own internalized knowledge–but humans stay the same and God’s prescription for families (husbands, wives, and children) has never changed. Which is to say, the absolute best resource for child-rearing is God’s Word.

The Bible is a manual for life in Christ and that includes “training children in the way they should go” (Prov. 22:6).

But technology is not without its benefits, and can be a very helpful tool. Thus I’ve discovered, in the course of a mere eight years, a few useful resources to help keep us on the narrow path along the Way. And my hope is that, in sharing them here, they may be helpful to others. This is not an exhaustive list, but just a few of the resources I find myself returning to frequently for help and encouragement in child-rearing.

Books

Don’t Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Hubbard

Ginger also has a fantastic resource called Wise Words for Moms — a handy chart for responding to children’s behavior and enacting Biblical reproof and encouragement. I have found this so helpful lately! Ginger also has a podcast in which she shares helpful tips and stories: https://www.gingerhubbard.com/blogs/podcast

Parenting By the Book: Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child by John Rosemond

I love Rosemond’s approach to child-rearing. He is pragmatic, biblical and humourous. I haven’t read all of his books (yet), but would heartily recommend anything by him! I’m looking forward to reading The Bible Parenting Code: Revealing God’s Perfect Parenting Plan. Although no longer actively publishing, Rosemond’s archived podcast ‘Because I Said So’ puts a lot of his child-rearing wisdoms and witticisms into short easy-to-retain snippets: https://podcast.rosemond.com/?p=archive&cat=all

And his website offers tons of online resources: https://www.parentguru.com/

Wise Words by Peter Leithart

Children love stories. And stories are a great way to impart life lessons. This collection of fables, parables and fairy tales is a fantastic read-aloud for the whole family.

God’s Wisdom for Little Girls: Virtues and Fun from Proverbs 31 by Elizabeth George

God’s Wisdom for Little Boys: Character-Building Fun from Proverbs by Elizabeth George

I love how these books succinctly and sweetly give children character-building goals in a way that appeals to their imagination. My oldest daughter (5 years old) has especially grasped these concepts through the beautiful illustrations of this book, and I frequently find her seeking to imitate the activities and traits pictured in the book. These are good read-alouds for storytime and also helpful in those teachable moments when we can point to a biblical example of decisions and behavior that honor God (see above, Wise Words for Moms).

Proverbs for Parenting: A Topical Guide for Child Raising from the Book of Proverbs by Barbara Decker

This book is extremely helpful when seeking biblical support for the various behaviors and responses that confront us as parents and as children! I use this most often for personal reflection and self-correction, but it reaps rewards in interactions with my children as well.

The Book Tree: A Christian Reference for Children’s Literature by Elizabeth McCallum

I love books and reading, and desire to pass this love along to my children. There are tons and TONS (and tons) of books out there these days, but not all of them are the kind that inspire wisdom and spiritual growth. This book by Ms. McCallum is a wonderful reference for identifying fiction and nonfiction writings that are edifying and entertaining for a variety of ages.

Audio

Judy Rogers

I’ve been listening to Judy Rogers since I was a child, and I still find her music so encouraging and helpful! Her songs put to music Scripture, catechism and biblical wisdom in a way that everyone can enjoy and easily memorize. My personal favorite is her album Never Be Shaken, featuring Celtic-inspired melodies and instruments that sing through several Psalms.

The Classical Kids Collection

These stories incorporate the music of a famous composer with an engaging and personalized story told from the perspective of a child who meets the composer or has an adventure with them. Wonderful and educational repeat listening!

Pilgrim’s Progress (John Bunyan) Abridged Dramatic Reading

We have really enjoyed listening to (and reading and watching) this version of Pilgrim’s Progress. The dramatized audio version is very entertaining and accessible, even for young ones. We have had some good conversations sparked from listening to the 2-disc set multiple times over several months. It is great for covering a lot of vocabulary and theology, framed within an imagination-stirring adventure!

Let’s Pretend Radio Show Storytime

When I was growing up, we listened to these recordings of the vintage Let’s Pretend radio show on cassette tapes during our drive to and from school. They are now available digitally on a variety of platforms (we use Amazon Music Unlimited), and these dramatic presentations of classic fairytales are engaging for everyone. It’s especially important that what we’re listening to is interesting to me as well (skip the Baby Shark renditions!). My children love these stories and request them often, especially the more unusual ones like Bluebeard and The Magic Cuckoo!

**Added October 2021**

Additional storytime & listening resources:

Christopher Churchmouse

Gigi, God’s Little Princess

Bible Stories for Growing Kids

Patch the Pirate

Amelia Bedelia

Jungle Jam

Little Bear

Arnold Lobel Collection / Frog & Toad

Your Story Hour

For Children 7+ (Cormac is enjoying these right now)

Jonathan Park Audio Adventures

Adventures in Odyssey

The Boxcar Children

Printables

Discipline Chart

We have had this discipline chart up on our fridge since my oldest was almost 4 years old, and it really hasn’t changed since then. It has been a fantastic tool to help keep me consistent in disciplinary responses, and especially in relation to biblical principles for how God expects us to behave and treat each other.

Sermon Notes

We are in the midst of training all four children to sit still and listen during our weekly Sunday worship service. We believe it is so important for children to participate and sit with their families during the full church service, even from a young age, so that they can learn by example and absorb the full content of worship, even if they don’t fully comprehend it all. Children learn in stages, and often repetition and habit-building are the most important foundation for concepts that they will come to understand more fully as they grow older. This printable sermon notes sheet is a helpful tool for encouraging them to listen with intent during the sermon.

Chore Chart

We actually use a dry-erase magnet board on our refrigerator for tracking chores weekly, but this printable chart is an example of how useful this tool is. Writing things down in a visible location is an important method to keeping us on track throughout the week. Right now, it’s more for me than the children; but, at some point, I plan for them to take on more responsibility in tracking their own tasks and keeping up with responsibilities around the house. Right now, our daily “chores” include:

  • Brush Teeth
  • Make Bed
  • Clean Room
  • Pick Up Playroom
  • Put Away Laundry
  • Practice Piano
  • Set the Table
  • Feed the Dog
  • Clean Out Dishwasher / Put Away Silverware

Not all of my children (current ages 7, 5, 3, 1) can accomplish these tasks at the same level, and some are assigned more or less. The older three currently trade off weekly with setting the table, cleaning out the dishwasher, and feeding the dog weekly. I think it’s helpful for the younger two to be assigned chores as well, even simple ones (pick up/put away toys, “tidy” bed), so they get in the habit of helping care for our home and belongings, training them to take on personal responsibility on a daily basis. This chart will shift as they all get older, but I want to establish the idea that it takes everyone’s participation to keep the household running smoothly, especially when it comes to being responsible for our own bodies and belongings!

Other Resources

One of the joys of being a parent (and of life in general), is the constant discovery that is happening. We are always learning new things, no matter what age! I look forward to continued learning in years to come. Here are a few more random things that I’ve found helpful on the journey:

Once Upon a Child

It’s no secret that children grow quickly and go through clothing and shoes every few months (sometimes it feels like every few weeks!) I have no qualms about decking them out completely in used clothing. It is budget-friendly and eco-friendly and kid-friendly because they put their clothes through such wear and tear! Our favorite local store is Once Upon a Child (they have franchises all over the country). We bring in a laundry basket or used, too-small clothing about once a quarter. They pay cash for used clothes (as well as toys and gear) on the spot, and we almost always use that money in store for our next round of apparel. It’s a win-win!

Toy Rotation/Donation

This is a method we’ve picked up from Montessori preschool. Not all toys have to be accessible at once! It helps keep down the mess and boost the interest if toys are cycled in and out of play every few months. They get more enjoyment and less clutter. This works especially well after Christmas or Birthdays when there is an abundance of new items. Store them away for a few months, then bring them out with the doldrums strike for a fresh round of fun! We also clean out our closets and cupboards every few months and any toys that are no longer used go to Goodwill or Once Upon a Child (see above) for someone else to enjoy.

I’ll add to this list if I think of anything else, but I think that’s it for now!

What are some of your favorite tried and true child-rearing resources? Please share!

Motherhood /

Learning To Say No (and getting over FOMO)

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

This phrase has been on my mind a lot lately. And specifically how it applies to my roles as wife, mother, business owner, artist (the list goes on). As we grow older and discover our talents and preferences, opportunities abound. And for many, many years, it was in my best interest to pursue as many as I could! Making new friends, joining new clubs, trying a different sport, accepting challenging jobs, traveling to new cities and foreign countries…. why say NO? These opportunities turn into wonderful, unforgettable experiences. Saying YES has some incredible benefits. 

But, somewhere along the way, it got harder and harder to say no. Saying yes became the default for me and, if you know my personality, that’s not a good thing. I am a self-proclaimed people pleaser, and when it comes to saying NO, that can make life pretty stressful. I’ve come to dread social or work situations where I would have to express some variance of the negative, and it has gotten me into some pretty tight situations with friends, family, co-workers and clients. And recently, I’ve recognized that something that needs to change.

 

It’s probably one of the first words that I learned and yet, nearly 30 years later, it’s become one of the hardest words to say.

No is such a simple word, but it has so many implications. We hear it a lot in childhood: “No talking in church. No TV on a school night. No hitting your sister!” No is an important word for settings boundaries with children. And I never liked hearing it! But I also never fully comprehended how hard it would be to say it to my own children. It’s so simple, right? Just say NO and that’s the end of it. Not quite… they keeping asking. Again. And again. And again. But it never occurred to me (until now) that denying my children proves to be just a much about denying myself. It’s not easy. When they ask for the millionth time to watch cartoons when they really should be playing outside, it would be so easy for me to give in and glue them to the TV so I can get some stuff done. But is what really what’s best for them? Or me? The harder choice tends to be the better one. Why does it always work out that way? Parenting is a microcosm of life and has taught me so much about myself in 3 short years, shining a giant spotlight on my flaws and shortcomings. I can’t imagine what I’ll learn in the next 30 years… But what it’s showing me now is that saying no is a difficult, but vital, choice that often is better for everyone in the long run.

Saying no doesn’t always have to mean self-denial, but it can often mean a perceived negative impact on those around you. I finally realized that, for the longest time, my fear of saying no was what might be commonly termed as FOMO (fear of missing out). How could I possibly say no when this opportunity is full of potential for ________? (Fill in the blank with fun, learning, money, networking, the greater good, whatever it may be). I’ve attended social events, joining nonprofit boards, taken on clients, and generally added to my workload by saying yes because I thought if I said no I would really be missing out. But, when I realized days, weeks or months later, that I wasn’t fully committed to the project/group/event, and my efforts were not 100%, the time dedicated was draining my energy of other worthy causes, and causing me to feel resentment, the original rush of YES has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I said yes because I thought they needed me, that it wouldn’t get done without me, or that I would be missing out on something if I didn’t. The truth? The world will go on turning without my efforts. Things will still get done, the party will start and finish and I won’t be a less fulfilled person for not attending.

It’s a strange realization to come to, discovering that after many years of life expanding and filling hours with every new opportunity (which is a good and wonderful thing), it whittles back down to just the necessities, what’s really important. I have discovered a sense of contentment in knowing that I may be missing out on one thing while I’m treasuring another. Like rocking my babies to sleep instead of meeting friends to try a new restaurant or attend a business networking event. Priorities change as our lives change, and learning when and how to say no is part and parcel of that. An enthusiastic 5 years ago may be a hard NO now. And that’s okay. Just because the opportunity is there, doesn’t mean we have to take it. A big part of this is trusting that God places opportunities in our lives for a reason — and learning the wisdom to accept or reject them is often about giving up control.

Adulthood offers so many privileges and it’s easy to get used to the power of yes, controlling what comes into our lives and “leaning in” to everything life has to offer, as the popular book would say. (More on that? Check out this article) But what I realized is that every yes, comes with a no. There’s only so many hours in the day, and you can’t be two places at once. When the yes means that other people or projects in my life will suffer, it must become a no. This means thinking a little longer and harder about making decisions. It means planning out priorities and focusing on necessities. It affects budgeting, parenting, social life, spiritual life and mental health. And as I learn to trust that God will provide the right opportunities, even when I say no to something that sounds wonderful, I am discovering a new sense of freedom and peace in decision-making that could never co-exist with FOMO. Fear of missing out? More like Finally Opposing More Opportunities. I’m not sure that one will catch on, but you get it, right?

All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify. 

1 Corinthians 10:23

Homemaking /

Am I There Yet?

When I was young (like, elementary school young), being in my thirties sound so old. Practically middle aged. Only parents are in their thirties. Being in your thirties means you’re really an ADULT. An old fuddy-duddy. Until a certain point, in your late teens maybe, when “your thirties” take on a sort of futuristic glamour. In my thirties, I’ll be settled, secure, stylish, confident. All the magazines say so. Oh, and rich. Definitely rich. The teenage years are for angst; your twenties for exploring and self-expression. But the thirties… by then, you’ll have everything figured out. Right?

Reality check: I turned 30 six months ago. And I keep asking myself: have I hit those magical “thirties” yet? I think if I have to ask, then the answer is probably no. I still question pretty much every decision, from what I eat for breakfast to what clothes I wear and how I parent my children or communicate with my spouse. I’m still not quite sure what my personal style is, or even if I’ve decided what my favorite color is. Today. Because, it could all change tomorrow or next week. I do recognize in personality a bit of a romantic penchant for reinventing myself, and I’ll just chalk up to my artistic soul, but it certainly doesn’t help when I decide I’m old enough to really figure out who I am.

But the more I ask myself these questions and look for where I’m fitting into that “perfect 30” mold, these less confident I feel in how far I’ve come. Because, in 30 years, I’m bound to have figured out something…. right? HA If I have to ask, the answer is probably no. I still have many of the same flaws I’ve struggled with since youth; I still have a hard time saying ‘no’ (I’m a chronic people-pleaser); I struggle with focus and clarity in decision-making; and I’m always better at starting a project than finishing it. Am I confident in what these traits make me as a person? Nope. And I don’t think I should be. I think life is about striving for better. Not necessarily more (the flaw of the American dream), just better. Because that is what God calls us to be.

“For it is written: be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:16

Sounds like it gets a lot harder, rather than easier. Like running a marathon, rather than a race. And there’s a lot more humility before the finish line than there is confidence. So, the magazines were wrong. I know my flaws better now than I did when was 20, though I’m not quite sure that makes me any more secure or successful as a person. So are we really surprised that Cosmo got it wrong (again)? Not really. A magazine will never give you a standard higher than self. If anything, I’ve lost more of my “self” than I’ve gained in the last few years and that’s truly a positive. As we die to self, leaving behind the trappings of the world we were born into, we become more alive in Christ (1 Timothy 4:7, Galatians 3:27). 

It’s still so easy to get caught up in that dream self-image — the sexy, confident, beautiful reflection we long to see. But it’s also easy to get bogged down in the failures. The ways we don’t live up or our dreams don’t pan out. Our calling is beyond both of these. Learning and growing in Christ, not just in the ways of personal style, or parenting expertise, or artistic mastery. All of those things are well and good, but a full life will never be found solely in them. Falling out of love with self, and in love with Him is our life’s purpose. And it’s hard. It probably will continue to feel like I’m struggling with my sense of self and decision-making. I will probably still be wondering 10 years from now (in the dreaded “fourties”) if I’ve finally found my place. But I’m pretty sure all that questioning, struggling, and striving just means I’m doing it right. Losing the battle of self means relying on the Lord for answers. Trusting in His providence above all else. And that’s thriving.

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14