I’m conflicted.

I have a strong urge to be working–in a steady job where I can put to use the creativity that seems to be in abundance all of the sudden. I want to have enough time to work out the layout or design of any given publication project (barely touched with yearbook), the hours to put into a portrait commission (figure drawing hardly covers it), the opportunity to put in a full day’s work at a single project instead of having to switch my brain on and off depending on the current topic of the moment. It’s an applicable skill, no doubt, to be able to juggle and manage several things at once. I just wish that they were at least all related somewhat . . . Perhaps that’s the key: figuring out what Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice (English paper due within the next week) has to do with organizing the details of the Tocco Challenge (this weekend) as well as getting together the required spreads for the upcoming yearbook deadline (Friday). If I could wrap my brain around that paradox (i.e. the harmony of all existing forces/reflections thereof in the universe), I would truly have accomplished something . . . Am I begging for monotony? Not likely–just more tasks in a unified genre. No doubt it’s there already, and I am simply refusing to see it.

On the other end of the spectrum. I have no desire to end the collegiate lifestyle that has become so appealing to me–where else are people so attuned to the delicate balance between learning and application? Better yet, where else is the weekend something so anticipated? I dread the day that the significance of Friday becomes illegitimate.

Oh well. Screw the inner turmoil and redundant moanings against growing up. I’ve got class.

An image for the cohorts of the real world.