Yay! I finally cleaned my room! It definitely needed it….. I feel so
accomplished. 
Not too much crazy going on today, but last night we
took an impromptu trip to Walmart to complete Ryan’s Winnie the Pooh
costume….so that was goodtimes. Still not sure what (if
anything at all…) I’m going to be. Vanessa and EvanMichael are going
to be Meg and Jack White from the White Stripes. Very clever in my
opinion. Nessa looks more like Meg than Evan looks like Jack–
although, I suppose that’s a good thing…..the drugged-out bum look is
never attractive on anyone. Well this is just a short entry I
know….but it’s lunchtime! Catch ya on the flip side!
Category: Uncategorized
The first blue sky day in a while….and just a quick entry before I head over for my voice lesson. I had a great weekend. Will, Daniel and Forrest came up for a visit and we’ve had fun hanging out. We went to church and lunch together yesterday (including Brannon, Giles and Julia) and they all came to my Western Heritage class this morning and that was indeed goodtimes. This week doesn’t look too busy as far as my schedule goes right now, but I get the feeling that it is going to fill up fast. I’ve got those signs to work on for Parents’ Weekend (which is this weekend) and what in the world are we going to do for Halloween? At least my paper is finished….exept I think I have another due next week that I should probably work on. haha Welcome to college life!!
And everybody knows it sucks to grow up…. –Ben Folds
Why is it that just when things seem to be going so
well, something has to go horribly wrong that screws with your mind and
gets issues all out of proportion and comprimises your whole mentality
for the sake of stupid misunderstandings? Why? I trust that God has a
purpose, but in the midst of such affairs it is certainly hard to see
the light. But faith is being sure of what we hope for…..
Classes are actually going well, academics are
hardly the problem. I’m happy to be discovering the new challanges that
college presents and more than willing to put forth the effort that was
lacking in high school.
Social issues, on the other hand, are a constant barrage.
I’ve never seen myself as a hugely social person….not the social
butterfly or the extrovert by any means. For such a long time I
admired/envied Elizabeth (if you don’t know her, I apologize for the
reference, it’s the first thing that came to my mind) for her ability
to charm people with a word, to make friends so easily, to be the
“better” of two cousins. She was
the extrovert, always popular, always involved in so many
activities–and I was just the opposite. I would rather stay in and
read than go out with friends….although this also has had a lot to do
with my home being so far away from friends anyway.
All that goes to say that I haven ever seen myself
as socially appealing or the type of person to whom other people are
drawn. I just never have been…..my mother used to get so frustrated
with me (and still does, at times) because I have been unwilling in
certain situations to confront people. That’s just beyond my comfort
level. I’ve definitely tried to work on that aspect of my
personality–I don’t want to seem at all exclusive or selfish by
appearing stand-offish or aloof. But I have just always known (and
learned in several instances) that I am not a social butterfly like
Elizabeth. She really has nothing to do with this situation (and I’m
certainly not trying to drag her or situations of the past into it),
but what is going on just reminds me so much of how I used to feel in
her presence. It is beyond me that anyone would feel that way because
of me. In fact, this is so hard for me to comprehend that even
considering the idea is ridiculous to me. What threat do I pose? I
mean, honestly….me??
I have always been in the corner….always the
lesser….I’ve never been paid much attention (socially) and I’ve
gotten used to it! There are other areas of my life that God has
granted me the grace to experience success and earn the praise of those
whom I admire….my art, for example, and academics. I don’t in any way
try to use these to fill some emptiness in me that desires fulfillment,
that is a ridiculous idea because essentially nothing material can fill
any void of human existence. I’m getting a bit philosophical….but
really this is how I think about these things. I suppose I could go on
all day….So, anyway, this all goes to say that I am frustrated that
anyone feels “threatened” and I feel like by not knowing that they felt
that way, I could have said or done things that have offended them.
When you feel like you are on the same plane with a person, you assume
that you can say anything to them and they will understand or feel the
same way. Ha. How wrong can I get? First of all, assumptions are just
not the way to go (make an ass of you and me)….and second, why should
I expect that anybody has the same mindset that I do? I suppose I never
thought it was too much to ask to be understood at least in some part,
but now I’m afraid it is more than most can handle. I understand how
hard it is to be honest about feelings, emotions, etc. but seriously I
rarely ever say things that I intend to be offensive to people. In that
case, when I do offend people it is almost always unintentional. Why?
Why do I feel like all I can do in this situation is ask “why”????? The
where, why and how of things are not in my hands at this point. Again,
I trust that God is in control and works all things for the good of
those who love Him. That’s it. I guess that’s why.
Well, it’s been a good week so far. Yesterday was very
relaxing….for the most part. Church was good and afterwards we had a
great chili dinner at the Stack’s home. Very cool. Then watched the
Detroit Lions game (which, unfortunately, they lost) at Dean’s house
and got some homework done. Then went on over to Galloway to watch some
movies and get a little more homework done (which was not much….heh).
Got back not too late and had a somewhat troubling conversation with
one whom I will not name. Vague, yes, but so was he. But, no worries,
I’m not mad or upset anymore. He just brought up some issues that I
have already spent a lot of time thinking about, and I guess I was
somewhat annoyed that he thought I was ignorant of my own actions. I do
appreciate his concern, though. So that was last night.
Today has been good because 1) the English lecture by
Cunio was actually worth listening to 2) I remembered to go to my voice
lesson! Now, as to the former, Cunio is a good professor in general but
because I really hate the lecture format of my English class, I’ve
lately been boycotting the lectures but not paying attention and doing
other homework. But today, for some unknown reason, I was compelled to
listen and ended up hearing a very insightful and worthwhile
examination of The Odyssey. So that was goodtimes. And the voice lesson
was good too. Only a little bit frustrating because Karl is trying to
undo a lot of what Mr. Chenault taught about long, deep vowels and
such. But I’m okay with that because I’m really just there to learn,
and I really like the way Karl teaches. He’s nice and very
accomodating.
And so that brings me here. Latin was good and now I’m just sitting at my desk, chillin’ with the Shins. Not literally.
Me, Chris and Karen just before our trip to Ann Arbor last Saturday
Yay! It’s Friday! I love this three-day week thing. Yeah so
tonight’s gonna be fun. Going to Ann Coulter with Karen and EvanMichael
at 8:30, and I know that will be goodtimes. After that….well, we’ll
leave it to Providence (but I have a pretty good idea of what’s going
on) SO…the English midterm today was a little more difficult than
I expected. Although I did expect it to be hard because I knew that a
college level English course couldn’t be as easy as it first appeared.
I knew there had to be a catch—and there was. The test was basically
just a piece of paper with three different ideas on it that required
three essays. One long one, two short. Needless to say, I was not
feeling incredibly verbose at 9:00 this morning and those essays were a
bit strained. At least now I know what they want from me (“they”
meaning the succession of professors who will be teaching the lecture
in sequence). Of course, I will find out even more once I get the test
back. In actuality, all of my papers and tests will be graded by just
one professor who also teaches my small writing seminar. It’s a very
confusing system and I don’t really like it very much, but for now I’ll
have to put up with it. Momma and Daddy are in Portland right now for
the AAPS conference, and I wish I could be there too. I’m sure it’s
nice there this time of year, if not a bit chilly.
But I think I’ve decided that I’m going home for Thanksgiving
instead of going home with Karen. I really LOVE going home with her and
seeing her friends (who are MY friends now, too ) but I think this
would be a good chance for me to visit home. So I’m looking forward to
that, but still sad that I don’t get to see all my good friends in
Monroe… 
No worries, though, we shall meet again! Till then, God
bless.